Although everyone else seemed to be much taller and more confident than I, everything seemed to go okay at first. However, as with most environments where there are women competing against one another, it wasn't to last.
My troubles began with the teachers/instructors. They seemed to be on a warpath to seek out the weakest potential members. The trouble was, I seemed to be the only one they had it in for.
They took me aside as everyone was leaving the room and showed me a piece of paper covered in red ink. It was my application form, and they had critiqued it! They had even criticised how I'd written my address and how it made me an 'undesirable candidate' for the Four Corners Club.
Tears of hurt and anger ran down my face because no-one else was having the way they write their address ripped apart, I began to protest and defend myself but the instructors interpreted this as me 'having an attitude' and that, too, would go against me.
Humiliated and hurt, I moved on to the next class where everyone else was already waiting.
Even though I had been taken aside, the instructors weren't discreet in their approach and it was very obvious what they'd been doing and the kind of things they were saying - and that everyone knew.
And of course, as we were in competition with each other, no-one was particularly comforting or encouraging. I basically had to sit there as everyone sat smugly gloating that they weren't in the firing line.
One girl in particular decided to make her dislike of me very known. She loudly shouted "God, your voice is so annoying!" every time I spoke, and instead of defending me the instructor simply implied that I should just find a way 'to be less annoying.' It seemed like they encouraged and even enjoyed the rivalry.
After having endured the humilation all day and having no-one step in to defend me, I eventually snapped. Overcome with rage, I went for her looks and intelligence and screamed that she was 'a stupid, ugly idiot!' and she actually looked shocked and hurt, as if she'd never heard a bad word said about her in her whole life.
If her feelings were hurt, I didn't apologise or feel any remorse as she apparently had none for me. I stormed out.
I left feeling like I could at least count on the love and support from my boyfriend to help me feel better, but when I passed him on the way to my dorm, he saw the hurt on my face... and pretended he didn't see me!
That was more hurt than I was prepared to take and instead of confronting him, I just walked away. I didn't have any strength left to beg for his attention.
Back at the dorm, the tone and atmosphere of the dream changed.
It seemed that there was a party taking place, as some of the sorority members had decided to dress up in costume. One had dressed in a particularly frightening costume that resembled both the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz, and a clown!
At first it was all fun and games with them jumping out playfully trying to scare me, but I turned around as another member closed and locked the sliding doors behind me and turned off all the lights, leaving me and the witch/clown alone in the dark together.
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