I was at a house party held by a friend.
In haven't socialised much with this group of friends in a while in real-life because I don't feel like I have much in common with them any more as my connection to them stems from a very specific time in my life that I no longer feel connected to, but I don't really have any 'real' reason to end the friendship with them as they've done nothing to warrant it, so in the dream it felt as though I was putting in an appearance so as not to appear rude or ignorant.
As the party drew to a close, I found myself alone standing in my friend's backyard contemplating my journey home.
I was then joined by an ex-boyfriend - my first love - who also just so happens to be the ex-husband of the friend who had just hosted the house party (complicated I know, but I grew up in a small town!) and for a while we just strolled through the backyard chatting and reminiscing about old times.
In reality, I am very much over the relationship but a very small subconscious part of me was enjoying the attention he was giving me. There is a still a subdued connection and understanding there, I think.
When the time came that I really did have to leave for home, I had the option of taking the shortcut of going through my friend's home and using her front door or going out of the yard and following the path round and into the street. I decided upon the shortcut, but given my ex's and my friend's history, he didn't come inside the house, he just waved me off from outside.
As I entered her house, my friend seemed surprised to see me, which I thought was odd seeing as though I wouldn't have gone inside her house if I truly didn't think she'd be okay with it, but when she saw her ex-husband standing in the doorway, she immediately turned on me!
She asked me what I thought I was playing at, why did I bring him here etc.?
I tried explaining that I didn't bring him, that he was already in the yard and I wasn't aware that things were that bad between them, but she quickly ushered me out her house in disgust.
I stood outside her house on the street waiting for my bus, completely baffled and bewildered by what just happened and wondering why was it such a common theme in my life that people were so quick to jump to their own conclusions about me without giving me a chance to explain my intentions?
I had to use the restroom and noticing that her bathroom was outside for some reason, I contemplated using it before her current boyfriend came outside - he had turned from young and attractive to wizened and old - and he basically explained that my friend had told him that she couldn't possibly continue her friendship with me due to my 'thoughtlessness' and 'betrayal'.
Sunday 30 April 2017
Saturday 15 April 2017
Dream Diary #120: Love and Understanding
After going 'off the grid' for several years, my True Love reappeared back in my life sleeping in a bush close my workplace (in reality there are no bushes close to where I work.) He looked dishevelled and disorientated, as if he had been sleeping for the whole time he'd been 'away' and was only just now waking up, with no idea how he got there.
I didn't care about his appearance as I ran towards him and threw my arms around him, so happy and excited to see him again. I had gotten so used to his lack of presence in my life the past few years that I didn't question him about a reconciliation or whether we would see each other again, and even accompanied him to the airport when the powers that be decided it was best for him to be returned to his home country.
I saw him off and returned to work, still amazed by the miracle of seeing him again after so long, albeit briefly, when I had resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't see him ever again.
Various shenanigans took place at work and I had almost forgotten that I'd seen my True Love again, when as I was leaving to go home, I froze with shock when I saw him sitting in the street waiting for me.
His legs were missing from the knee down so he couldn't run away or go anywhere so I approached him and sat down. Suddenly, all of the repressed emotions that I had previously been holding back came rushing to the surface and I started to cry and explain how sorry I was and that I had never meant to hurt him or be apart for this long.
But before I could get my words out he took my hand and began repeating back to me exactly what I was going to say!
Relief flooded through my me and my tears turned from sadness to joy as I thought, "You get it, you finally understand!" For the first time in so long, he wasn't ignoring or wilfully misunderstanding me and it felt so good!
I lay down next to him in the street, still holding hands.
I didn't care about his appearance as I ran towards him and threw my arms around him, so happy and excited to see him again. I had gotten so used to his lack of presence in my life the past few years that I didn't question him about a reconciliation or whether we would see each other again, and even accompanied him to the airport when the powers that be decided it was best for him to be returned to his home country.
I saw him off and returned to work, still amazed by the miracle of seeing him again after so long, albeit briefly, when I had resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't see him ever again.
Various shenanigans took place at work and I had almost forgotten that I'd seen my True Love again, when as I was leaving to go home, I froze with shock when I saw him sitting in the street waiting for me.
His legs were missing from the knee down so he couldn't run away or go anywhere so I approached him and sat down. Suddenly, all of the repressed emotions that I had previously been holding back came rushing to the surface and I started to cry and explain how sorry I was and that I had never meant to hurt him or be apart for this long.
But before I could get my words out he took my hand and began repeating back to me exactly what I was going to say!
Relief flooded through my me and my tears turned from sadness to joy as I thought, "You get it, you finally understand!" For the first time in so long, he wasn't ignoring or wilfully misunderstanding me and it felt so good!
I lay down next to him in the street, still holding hands.
Monday 10 April 2017
Dream Diary #119: The Man Across the Street
I was being held captive in a house by Michael Myers. On the opposite side of the street lived a man I had fallen in love with from a distance and I dreamt of him rescuing me from my current plight, but no-one on the outside even knew I was there.
Eventually my predicament became so unbearable, I knew I had to escape, no matter how crippled by fear I was. Going out of the front door was impossible; Michael was patrolling it at almost all times. Instead, I devised a plan to go through the roof as I had access to a skylight window that I opened up and climbed out of.
I took a running leap off the roof, ensuring I landed as far on the opposite side of the street as I could, to give me a head start if Michael happened to see and come after me. I knew that if I could make it to the neighbour's house I would be safe, as Michael wouldn't reveal himself in front of the other people in the neighbourhood.
The man was very understanding and took me under his wing, just as I hoped he would. Unfortunately, although Michael couldn't harm me as long as I was in the protection of my neighbour, this didn't stop him from standing in the front yard and glaring at me from across the street, motioning to me that he ever gets me alone with him I'm dead.
Other than that, I felt completely safe and contented, building my new life.
Until, that is, my neighbourhood decided to throw a party for me and invited everyone in the street, including Michael who was just regarded as a reclusive, eccentric loner but ultimately harmless.
In order to welcome me to the community (they were unaware I had lived down the street as a captive for quite some time), it was decided that everyone would approach me and introduce themselves to me individually. When it was Michael's turn, he came towards me with an axe in his hands. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke, but only I knew that he was capable of inflicting real harm on me. He held the axe to my leg and then lifted it up to strike me and I braced myself for the blow.
To my amazement, he stopped just before the axe hit my leg, broke the axe in two, handed me the lower half and walked away.
Eventually my predicament became so unbearable, I knew I had to escape, no matter how crippled by fear I was. Going out of the front door was impossible; Michael was patrolling it at almost all times. Instead, I devised a plan to go through the roof as I had access to a skylight window that I opened up and climbed out of.
I took a running leap off the roof, ensuring I landed as far on the opposite side of the street as I could, to give me a head start if Michael happened to see and come after me. I knew that if I could make it to the neighbour's house I would be safe, as Michael wouldn't reveal himself in front of the other people in the neighbourhood.
The man was very understanding and took me under his wing, just as I hoped he would. Unfortunately, although Michael couldn't harm me as long as I was in the protection of my neighbour, this didn't stop him from standing in the front yard and glaring at me from across the street, motioning to me that he ever gets me alone with him I'm dead.
Other than that, I felt completely safe and contented, building my new life.
Until, that is, my neighbourhood decided to throw a party for me and invited everyone in the street, including Michael who was just regarded as a reclusive, eccentric loner but ultimately harmless.
In order to welcome me to the community (they were unaware I had lived down the street as a captive for quite some time), it was decided that everyone would approach me and introduce themselves to me individually. When it was Michael's turn, he came towards me with an axe in his hands. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke, but only I knew that he was capable of inflicting real harm on me. He held the axe to my leg and then lifted it up to strike me and I braced myself for the blow.
To my amazement, he stopped just before the axe hit my leg, broke the axe in two, handed me the lower half and walked away.
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