Dream Diary #122 + #123: Bleeding Love + Ghost Town

(I actually had this dream more than a week ago but didn't write it down as I found it quite upsetting)

It seemed that my dream had come true and my Love and I were in each other's lives again and what's more, he appeared to be making an effort with my family, interacting with and getting to know them.

But before I could get too happy and content I glanced down at myself and realised that I was bleeding heavily from between my legs! Instinctively, I knew that I was experiencing a miscarriage, despite not being aware I was even pregnant.

In total shock and horror, I immediately went to my Love, expecting him to show concern and worry but instead, he just took one look at me and turned away - his face completely expressionless and unemotional.

I stood there covered in blood and sobbing with devastation and confusion.

----------

(I actually had this dream before the attack in Manchester)

Due to the various terrorist events occurring worldwide as well as the increasingly volatile state of the political world, I began to notice that fewer and fewer people were showing up to work each day.

My job isn't without it's risks, even at the best of times, but now people simply didn't feel safe, not only to come to work but to be out in general. As a result the whole town where I lived started to resemble a ghost town.

This sent my employer into crisis mode and they called an emergency meeting for those of us who still dared show up to the office. They concluded that it was simply too risky to be at work and announced that the office would be closed down with immediate effect and dismissed everyone from the building.

At first, this was welcome news; I loved leaving the office early and having the rest of the day to do as I pleased. Even though I hated being unemployed due to the lack of money and therefore, opportunities, there was and is a small part of me that misses the lifestyle I had when I was unemployed and having the freedom to come and go as I choose without being tied to a schedule.

Then the reality of what had happened started to sink in - how was I going to support myself now? How was I going to afford to live and eat? And would I still be able to live in in the property where I live? In fact, how would anyone be able do any of these things if the town had just come grinding to a halt?

Dream Diary #121: Bad Blood

I was at a house party held by a friend. 

In haven't socialised much with this group of friends in a while in real-life because I don't feel like I have much in common with them any more as my connection to them stems from a very specific time in my life that I no longer feel connected to, but I don't really have any 'real' reason to end the friendship with them as they've done nothing to warrant it, so in the dream it felt as though I was putting in an appearance so as not to appear rude or ignorant.

As the party drew to a close, I found myself alone standing in my friend's backyard contemplating my journey home.

I was then joined by an ex-boyfriend - my first love - who also just so happens to be the ex-husband of the friend who had just hosted the house party (complicated I know, but I grew up in a small town!) and for a while we just strolled through the backyard chatting and reminiscing about old times.

In reality, I am very much over the relationship but a very small subconscious part of me was enjoying the attention he was giving me. There is a still a subdued connection and understanding there, I think.

When the time came that I really did have to leave for home, I had the option of taking the shortcut of going through my friend's home and using her front door or going out of the yard and following the path round and into the street. I decided upon the shortcut, but given my ex's and my friend's history, he didn't come inside the house, he just waved me off from outside. 

As I entered her house, my friend seemed surprised to see me, which I thought was odd seeing as though I wouldn't have gone inside her house if I truly didn't think she'd be okay with it, but when she saw her ex-husband standing in the doorway, she immediately turned on me!

She asked me what I thought I was playing at, why did I bring him here etc.?

I tried explaining that I didn't bring him, that he was already in the yard and I wasn't aware that things were that bad between them, but she quickly ushered me out her house in disgust.

I stood outside her house on the street waiting for my bus, completely baffled and bewildered by what just happened and wondering why was it such a common theme in my life that people were so quick to jump to their own conclusions about me without giving me a chance to explain my intentions? 

I had to use the restroom and noticing that her bathroom was outside for some reason, I contemplated using it before her current boyfriend came outside - he had turned from young and attractive to wizened and old - and he basically explained that my friend had told him that she couldn't possibly continue her friendship with me due to my 'thoughtlessness' and 'betrayal'.

Dream Diary #120: Love and Understanding

After going 'off the grid' for several years, my True Love reappeared back in my life sleeping in a bush close my workplace (in reality there are no bushes close to where I work.) He looked dishevelled and disorientated, as if he had been sleeping for the whole time he'd been 'away' and was only just now waking up, with no idea how he got there.

I didn't care about his appearance as I ran towards him and threw my arms around him, so happy and excited to see him again. I had gotten so used to his lack of presence in my life the past few years that I didn't question him about a reconciliation or whether we would see each other again, and even accompanied him to the airport when the powers that be decided it was best for him to be returned to his home country.

I saw him off and returned to work, still amazed by the miracle of seeing him again after so long, albeit briefly, when I had resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't see him ever again. 

Various shenanigans took place at work and I had almost forgotten that I'd seen my True Love again, when as I was leaving to go home, I froze with shock when I saw him sitting in the street waiting for me.

His legs were missing from the knee down so he couldn't run away or go anywhere so I approached him and sat down. Suddenly, all of the repressed emotions that I had previously been holding back came rushing to the surface and I started to cry and explain how sorry I was and that I had never meant to hurt him or be apart for this long.

But before I could get my words out he took my hand and began repeating back to me exactly what I was going to say! 

Relief flooded through my me and my tears turned from sadness to joy as I thought, "You get it, you finally understand!" For the first time in so long, he wasn't ignoring or wilfully misunderstanding me and it felt so good!

I lay down next to him in the street, still holding hands.

Dream Diary #119: The Man Across the Street

I was being held captive in a house by Michael Myers. On the opposite side of the street lived a man I had fallen in love with from a distance and I dreamt of him rescuing me from my current plight, but no-one on the outside even knew I was there.

Eventually my predicament became so unbearable, I knew I had to escape, no matter how crippled by fear I was. Going out of the front door was impossible; Michael was patrolling it at almost all times. Instead, I devised a plan to go through the roof as I had access to a skylight window that I opened up and climbed out of. 

I took a running leap off the roof, ensuring I landed as far on the opposite side of the street as I could, to give me a head start if Michael happened to see and come after me. I knew that if I could make it to the neighbour's house I would be safe, as Michael wouldn't reveal himself in front of the other people in the neighbourhood.

The man was very understanding and took me under his wing, just as I hoped he would. Unfortunately, although Michael couldn't harm me as long as I was in the protection of my neighbour, this didn't stop him from standing in the front yard and glaring at me from across the street, motioning to me that he ever gets me alone with him I'm dead.

Other than that, I felt completely safe and contented, building my new life.

Until, that is, my neighbourhood decided to throw a party for me and invited everyone in the street, including Michael who was just regarded as a reclusive, eccentric loner but ultimately harmless.

In order to welcome me to the community (they were unaware I had lived down the street as a captive for quite some time), it was decided that everyone would approach me and introduce themselves to me individually. When it was Michael's turn, he came towards me with an axe in his hands. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke, but only I knew that he was capable of inflicting real harm on me. He held the axe to my leg and then lifted it up to strike me and I braced myself for the blow.

To my amazement, he stopped just before the axe hit my leg, broke the axe in two, handed me the lower half and walked away.

Dream Diary #118: Riding The Waves

I was strolling along the seafront with a friend that I didn't recognise as anyone I know in real-life, when with an almighty roar and crash, a tidal wave descended down upon us, without warning.

Miraculously, we somehow survived, but knew we were on borrowed time as the tide started to retreat out to sea again and we knew another wave was on it's way. We didn't know if we could survive a second time around.

Of course, the logical thing to do was to find our way to higher ground, so we found a nearby hill to climb up, that frankly would've done absolutely nothing to protect us if it were a real-life tsunami situation. 

Thankfully, as it was a dream, we could sit from our spot and observe the natural phenomenon in safety.

To my surprise, The Obnoxious Girl showed up; and although I was surprised, I was sort of expecting her as well, as though my unnamed friend had been discussing her coming along with us, prior to the tidal wave.

Normally the presence of The Obnoxious Girl annoyed me, but due to the common 'enemy' of the tidal wave and our shared amazement at the phenomenon, we actually started to get along and she joined us on the little hillside as we watched another wave form in the distance.

Dream Diary #117: The Ick Factor

I found myself in the company of my former landlord and a few others. This was a surprise since, although my landlord never did anything especially horrible to me, he often made me feel very uncomfortable and this, among other things, was a contributing factor that made me want to leave the property and I had no intention of ever seeing, let alone hanging out with him.

 As it turned out that he had developed a crush on the tenant that moved in after me, and as a fellow female he appealed to me set him up with her. 

I had reservations about doing so, not least because my former landlord was a gluttonous old man in his sixties with a weight problem and a plethora of obesity related health conditions.

Disturbingly, I learned that he had his eye on me, had I not moved out when I did. Apparently just the fact that I was female within a close proximity was more than enough to consider me. 

I caught a glimpse of the woman who had moved in and she seemed really nice and sweet; like someone who would perhaps be too polite to say 'no' if asked out, or set up on, a date.

I felt really guilty even attempting to set her up with someone I personally found so repulsive but then another part of me thought: who am I to judge? What if they really hit it off? Am I just being shallow?

But still, my own personal experiences and judgements got in the way and I found myself warning, rather than appealing to her.

Dream Diary #116: Zombie Apocalypse Now

A zombie apocalypse was sweeping across the nation. The epidemic was spreading so fast and was so imminent that the powers that be weren't even attempting evacuation or rescue procedures; they were merely recommending that people prepare for their inevitable deaths in whatever way they saw fit.

Utterly terrified, I separated myself from my family, barricading myself inside the bathroom absolutely determined that I would survive or at least be in control of how I died. I thought that by entrapping in the bathroom it would bide me some time to think of an escape or survival plan. 

However, everything started to go wrong; from the door coming off the hinges to people poking their heads through the window to chat to me about the current turn of events.

When the husband of the woman I was talking to came to whisk her away to safety I felt a pang of sadness that I didn't have anyone physically present in my life to care about me, the way he cared for her. 

I somehow managed, in the midst of all the chaos, to take a bath; reasoning that if I was going to die, I wanted to feel clean and good about myself.

As the noise and mayhem began to gain momentum and get louder and closer, I tensed up as I prepared myself for the inevitable.

Then, everything went silent.

I looked up and everything was dark.

A mysterious, faceless figure began speaking to me. It explained that it was going to let me in on a secret; the zombie apocalypse had never actually been a zombie apocalypse at all!

Instead, it was a dark, supernatural force, not unlike the 'Slenderman' urban legend that was engulfing the nation and wiping out humanity. 

My blood went cold as I found myself standing on an upper level floor watching as a dark, shadowy figure floated underneath me. I had been given a chance to survive but I knew I had to hide before the shadow found me.