Saturday 27 February 2016

Dream Diary #96: Extraordinary Adventures

In this dream, the settings of Final Fantasy were real places that you could actually visit and myself and a group of friends were travelling by coach to see them.

Sitting across the aisle in our group was an ex-boyfriend (who doesn't look like anyone I know in real-life, and actually resembles a youtube personality I follow) and I'm excited to see and spend time with him, but sad because I know he probably won't acknowledge me as an individual and just address me through the group.

On the inside I'm a wreck but keep a calm front on the surface. 

We make our first stop and it's so futuristic and beautiful that it takes the focus from my ex-boyfriend for a little while and I'm grateful that I get to see and experience this with him, even if we're not alone together as we do it. 

Later in the journey, as the other people in the group have played musical chairs with their seats, I find myself alone with him for the first time.

Despite previously doing his utmost to ensure he never spoke to me directly throughout the whole journey, he gently put his arm around me and asks me, "Are you okay?"

We engage in a (very) brief conversation before he gets up and ensures that he's surrounded by others again.

I couldn't get my head around it. Our break-up had come about because I was deeply unhappy within myself and now that I was fitter, healthier and happier he was doing everything he could to distance himself from me?

Did he truly like me better when I was a mess?

As we reached our stop and prepared to vacate the bus, my ex-boyfriend slung a single bag over his shoulder while I struggled to carry bags and bags of belongings to the point where I had to leave some in the overhead lockers to collect later.

Not only did he not offer to carry even a single bag, he didn't even look round to see if I was okay.

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