There's no fooling Morgana when I breeze through the door to her clinic later that morning, trying to appear as casual as possible.
"Hey, Morgie, do you need help with anything?"
She takes one glance at me, smiles, folds her arms and throws me an expectant look.
"What?" I say, defensively.
"Sleep well after your 'run'?" She grins.
"Huh?" I had completely forgotten about our conversation outside the elevator.
She doesn't let it go though.
"Misty, darling, I know I may not look it, but I am quite bit older than you and I know a young woman in love when I see one." She points a finger, wiggling it accusingly in my direction.
Internally, I debate whether I should just come clean or keep up the pretense. If I were back home, Jezebel would probably be bombarding me with questions and begging for tidbits of information (now that I had 'tidbits'). But Jezebel isn't here. Morgana is. And she is on our side, and... oh, screw it.
I let the smile I've been suppressing slowly beam across my face.
"I knew it," she says, narrowing her eyes, "And, who, dare I ask is the object of your affections?"
"Gabriel," I tell her.
Morgana nods, as if confirming a suspicion that she had. She steps forward and puts her hand on my arm, "Well, I'm very pleased for you both." She then turns and goes back to what she was doing before I came in.
I had mostly come to terms with the fact that I would never see or speak with my mom again, but during moments like these, I find myself wishing I was sharing it with her and not other, substitute maternal figures in my life. And it makes me feel so guilty because Morgana is absolutely amazing.
"Thanks Morgie," I fold my arms across myself, "Now, if only Solaris would be as understanding as you when he finds out."
"Would you like me to have a word with him for you?"
I shake my head, "Not necessary," I say, "Gabriel and I are gonna meet up for dinner in The Blue Saloon tonight. If people see us and assume that we're together we're not going to tell them otherwise. And if Solaris happens to be one of them, then..." I shrug, threading my thumbs through the belt-loops of my shorts.
"Sounds like a plan."
"But, if he takes it really badly, the offer is still good, right?" I quickly add.
Morgana chuckles. "Of course, dear."
I sigh. "Do you think we're overreacting?"
She looks thoughtful for a moment, "Oh darling, the thing about Solaris is, if he gives you a hard time, it's not because he doesn't understand how you're feeling," she comes towards me again, looks me square in the eyes, "it's because he does."
I turn my gaze to the floor. The image of stern, stoic Captain Solaris staring forlornly at the hologram of his late wife on the the Draco 'dead-and-missing' registry still lives rent-free in my head. Morgana, who has known Solaris way longer than I have, is familiar with his torment, too.
"So, just because it's painful to lose someone you love, you shouldn't even try?"
"You're preaching to the converted on that one, my dear. I'm with you. I believe love is always worth the risk. Even, no, especially when the stakes are high." She raises a forefinger to emphasize her last point.
I shift uncomfortably. Given my current situation, I just know her words are going to come back to haunt me at some point.
"All I'm saying is, his reaction might not seem so daunting when you realize it's coming from a place of love for the both of you."
The idea of Solaris feeling any type of love for me is a strange one considering I mostly just seem like a necessary nuisance to him. Something to be tolerated because I may be useful to his objectives at some point. I smile at the thought, though.
~*~
Every time I think Gabriel can't take my breath away more than he already does, he always manages to surprise me.
He shows up at my room at the agreed time, in his dressy-casual best; an unbuttoned army green shirt that compliments the golden honey shade of his hair, over a tight white t-shirt, black jeans and ankle boots. A fresh layer of coco-nutty goodness exuding from his skin.
"Hey you."
My face can barely contain my smile as he greets me with the same words I used when I showed up at his place last night. He leans in for a kiss, before handing me a bouquet of sunflowers complete with a jar to put them in.
"Awww, thank-you," I say taking them from him, before blurting, "Where'd you find sunflowers in the middle of outer space?"
"Junior botanist on the basement level." He tells me as he strides inside.
Of course. Silly me.
I make my way over to my tiny kitchen area so that I can fill the jar up with water.
"Listen, I ended up telling Morgana about us," I admit apologetically, "I hope that's alright?"
"Yeah, I know, she took me into her office for a 'quiet word' earlier. I think it was her way of saying: 'Congratulations on getting laid'," he says, which makes us both laugh. He then takes his focus off me for a second to do a quick scan of my room and exclaims, "Gods, Mist, did they run out of closets to stuff you in?"
I don't have much- only what was on me on the night I was first brought on board and anything I've accumulated since I've been here- but I've done what I can to make it feel like my own.
"Good job I'm not claustrophobic, huh?"
"Ah, don't worry," he sits down on the edge of my little bed, ducking down so as not to hit the upper bunk, "You can stay with me again tonight," he states before quickly adding, "If you want to, that is."
I turn to face him, clutching my flowers, "I'd like that, thank you."
He looks subtly relieved, as if there was a very real possibility in his mind that I'd say 'no'. Or that I'd flake out on him, like I did with Nico.
I can feel his eyes follow me as I drift over to my nightstand and set my jar of sunflowers down on it.
"Gods, you are so beautiful," he sighs.
Morgana, bless her heart, had come through for me yet again, allowing me to raid her wardrobe (something I'd been dying to do since I saw all of the gorgeous colors and floaty, feminine fabrics she wears when she's not on duty as a medic). And while she and I are two different body types, she had a silken, form-fitting lilac colored gypsy top with corset detailing on the front that revealed just the right amount of cleavage and shoulder without looking trashy, that fit. So, that's what I'm wearing, paired with my black dance leggings and sneakers, my freshly washed and conditioned hair, loose and flowing down my back.
"You're not so bad yourself," I tease as I plop down on the bed next to him and lean in for another kiss. He obliges, pressing his lips to mine and holding them there for a lingering, breathy moment. When we draw apart, however, he's looking at me so intensely I feel like he's trying to read my mind.
"Are you feeling better now?" He asks, holding my gaze.
"'Better'?"
"You seemed a bit skittish before we said good-bye this morning," he reaches up to stroke my cheek with the back of his hand, "I feel like something's bothering you but you don't want to tell me what it is."
I tense up because he's not wrong. But not because I don't want to tell him. Rather, I don't know where to begin to explain the conflict that's going on in my head right now. See, before last night, there was always this unspoken understanding that my current situation was only temporary.
Ever since I came here, no matter how warm and welcoming my new intergalactic friends were, I'd always felt distinctly like an outsider (nothing to do with how I was treated, just how I felt). But with Gabriel, it was different. I had never felt like an outsider when I was with him. From the moment we first met, he'd made it clear that, to him, I was just a girl - a girl with a passion for dancing, a girl who could be ditzy and silly sometimes, a girl in search of answers about her origins, a girl who just happened to be half-celestial, half-human.
Realizing the depth of my feelings for him, and acting upon them, had given my current situation a sudden feeling of permanency and sense of belonging I hadn't even consciously known I was searching for. Hearing him talk about taking me back with him to visit his childhood home this morning so calmly, with such conviction, was overwhelming. And not because I don't feel the same; the love he's offering is the type of love that I used to lie awake at night for hours fantasizing about. But, as much as I love him, I know that the decision to stay here with him permanently would come at a great cost and huge personal sacrifice. I had a very difficult and terrifying decision to make and it was nearly paralyzing me...
"Like I said, I'm fine," I tell him, pulling his hand away from my cheek and squeezing it an attempt to reassure him (and myself). It doesn't help that my voice just raised by an octave or two.
He doesn't look convinced but before he can say anything else, I leap to my feet, holding my hand out to him, "Come on, let's go. The night awaits us."
I can see him holding back his laughter as he takes my hand because, of course, it's always night here.
As we head out the door, I playfully do a little pirouette under his arm before leading him down the hallway on our way to our next big adventure: our first date.
~*~
"So, tell me more about Nibera," I say to Gabriel as we clink our bottles of beer together, sitting next to one another in our corner booth at The Blue Saloon.
"What do you want to know?" He asks, putting his drink up to his lips.
"Tell me about your childhood. What did you like to do for fun when you were growing up?"
He considers my question for a moment. "I liked to surf."
"Surf? Like, with a surfboard and stuff?" I could definitely see that.
He nods.
"Didn't you hate getting your wings all soggy?" I ask.
There's that look on his face again when I've said something silly but it amuses him, "Well, I don't typically unfurl my wings when I'm in water." He grins, "You could probably tell from the pictures, but Nibera has a very warm climate. As well as having some of the most beautiful beaches in the galaxy, it also has lots of natural freshwater pools, lakes, waterfalls... so I spent a lot of my childhood in the water, surfing, diving, swimming with dolphins, whales, mermaids-"
"-mermaids?"
"Yeah, matter of fact," he smirks mischievously before he tells me the next part, "I lost my virginity to a mermaid on my sixteenth birthday."
This time it's me who almost chokes on my drink. When he told me that he and Sophia had known each other since they were kids, I guess I just assumed that they were each other's firsts. I wasn't ready to hear about anyone else he'd been with before me. He obviously knows what my next question is going to be because he preemptively answers for me.
"And before you ask, no we weren't in water and no, she didn't have fins at the time."
Well, that's a relief.
I lean forward, folding my arms on the table, "Must've been a big shock for you, going from the tropics to deep space?"
"Nah," he says taking another sip, "I always wanted to travel the galaxy, ever since I can remember. It was one of the reasons I studied and memorized the maps of the constellations so hard when I was young. I was ready to go when I did."
I smile. Evidence would suggest he'd been aspiring to join the Galactic Federation since he was at least five or six years old. Slowly a bigger picture was forming and I was starting to see why the idea of being born a prince might be burdensome for him. Clearly being raised as a pampered palace brat like he was supposed to would've never suited him if he felt innately called to travel amongst the stars.
He looks at me thoughtfully for a moment before he says, "What about you," he reaches across the table, taking hold of my hand and lightly dragging his thumb across my fingers, "You ever think about what you might do with yourself if you weren't a dancer?"
The way he asks the question doesn't sit right with me, like he's testing to see how amenable I am to overhauling my whole life for our relationship. Which, as you know, is a conversation I'm just not ready to have.
I shift awkwardly in my seat. "Gabriel, I-"
Apparently, I'm not the only one who isn't ready because sensing that my answer was more complex than: 'Yes, of course I've considered leaving behind everything I've ever known, and trading my Academy of Dance jersey in for a Galactic Federation jumpsuit', he suddenly leans across the table and presses his lips to mine, in what I think is going to be just a peck, but then I feel his hand on the back of my head and his tongue prising my mouth open in search of mine.
Conscious of the fact that we're in a public place, I shirk away, "Gabriel! Everyone can see us..."
"So?"
I glance across the room. The bar is fairly empty save for a handful of non-humanoid patrons drifting about. No-one that I recognize, recognizes us, or would even care about us if they did.
I turn back to him and nod, signaling to him that it's okay this time.
"I love you, Misty," he murmurs against my mouth, once again parting my lips with his tongue.
"I love you too," I manage to murmur back before deepening the kiss. We pull each other close and I even end up draping my leg over his lap to which Gabriel responds by reaching behind my knee and stroking my thigh, not unlike he did last night. We're getting way too into it, but like I said, the other patrons are non-humanoid and won't care about a couple of humanoid celestials engaging in a bit of pre-mating activity in public.
I'm not sure how long we stay lip-locked like that but it must have been at least a minute, if not two, before I hear the sound of the doors to The Blue Saloon slide open followed by the sound of booted footfalls on the floor that come to an abrupt stop after a couple of steps.
I don't know why but something compels me to look. My eyes flicker to the doorway. Oh my God. I gasp and wrench my lips away from Gabriel which, in turn, causes him to stop and look in the same direction.
Nico!
I had been so preoccupied with how Solaris would react to Gabriel and I's relationship that I hadn't even considered Nico. I had already explained to him that I didn't feel the same for him as he felt for me and our relationship wouldn't go any further than that one night so it's not like I'm doing anything wrong. Still, I can't help but feel bad. If he'd walked in on us just having a drink together we might've been able to play it off a bit more, but there was no way of explaining away what we were just doing as anything but what it was.
Nico stares at us blankly for a few seconds before regaining his composure, walking towards the bar with his eyes glued to the floor. He briefly looks up, salutes Gabriel, who salutes back, ignoring me completely.
The next couple of minutes pass in awkward silence as he asks behind the bar for his pre-ordered dinner and waits for it to be handed to him. I can feel Gabriel's grip tighten around me. I feel like I should say something, but I don't know what.
Finally, after the longest two minutes ever, Cthulhu hands Nico his order and he quickly turns and hurriedly heads back out the door. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding.
"Do you want me go talk to him?" Gabriel asks me, his hand stroking my back.
"No, I should." I jump to my feet, sprinting out the door.
"Nico!"
He's already more than halfway down the corridor but unlucky for him, my natural athleticism enables me to close the distance in less than two seconds flat.
"Nico, wait!"
He stops and turns so abruptly that I almost go careening into him.
"I'm so sorry, Nico, I never meant for you to find out like that-"
"-Have I just made a complete fool of myself here, or what?" If looks could kill, I'm sure I would've dropped dead on the spot right then and there.
"What? No, of course not! You didn't do anything wrong, you just... directed your feelings at the wrong girl, that's all."
He rolls his eyes as if I've just made the understatement of the century. "Does he know about you and me?"
"Yes, I told him everything."
He takes a step forward, his hazel eyes boring into me, burning with disappointment. "I really thought you were one of the good ones."
I know I've hurt him but I'm not about to back down or let him get away with insulting me.
"Nobody's perfect, Nico." I say firmly, meeting his eye with equal fire.
He backs off a bit then, his gaze softening. "Just tell me one thing; why did you do it, if you knew it was him you really wanted?"
Because I thought he was off doing the exact same thing with Sophia.
Something about my expression must be giving my thoughts away because I can literally see the penny dropping in real-time and the look of realization as he recalls that my somber, despondent mood that night coincided with Gabriel going out to meet Sophia on their pseudo 'date'.
In the dim light, I think I can see tears forming in the corners of Nico's eyes but they look like tears of frustration and anger, not sadness.
"Did you mean any of it? Or was it all an act?"
"I meant it when I said I think you're an amazing guy and that I want us to be friends."
He shakes his head, lets out a bitter laugh. "You're a fucking good actress, I'll give you that."
Again, I'm not letting him off easy. I grab his free hand, squeezing it hard, "No, I really mean it." He looks at our hands then at me as if I'm out of my mind, "If you only knew how badly I'm going to need you to be my friend in the near future."
His gaze quickly turns from annoyed and angry to intrigued and confused, "What are you-"
"-You'll find out." I say softly.
The doors to The Blue Saloon slide suddenly open and garish, neon flamingo pink fills the dimly lit corridor.
"Mist? Everything alright?"
I peer over my shoulder to see Gabriel's silhouette in the doorway, "Yeah, everything's fine. I'll be there in a minute."
I then glance back at Nico, who now just looks wistful and sad, "You'd better go," he still sounds angry, but resigned, "I know I wouldn't want you out here in the dark wasting time talking with some other guy if I were lucky enough to be in his place."
I nod. "Thanks Nico."
He lifts his hand, the one carrying his food order, salutes me, salutes Gabriel and gives my hand a firm squeeze with the other before finally letting go.
